WTF # 2 – What is it with Duffy?

I’m gonna come right out and say it Duffy, I’ve got a massive problem with you. When i first heard your song Mercy I thought it was OK. Nothing special but i wouldnt switch the radio over if it came on whilst i was driving. Hell i might have even hummed along to the chorus a little bit. But I have seen the light and realised that you are just ridiculously annoying.

You sing as if you have a clothes peg pinching your nostrils together. You look….well just weird really. A little bit like I imagine Zelda from the 80′s TV puppet show Terrahawks would have looked when she was younger. I have a picture of her somewhere….

Also you won 3 (and that’s 3 too many) Brit Awards: Best British Female, Best British Breakthrough and Best British Album. DO ME A LARGE ONE. Out of the nominees Adele should have won best british female, Ting Tings best breakthrough and you beat Coldplay, Elbow and Radiohead to best Album??? I HATE radiohead but I’d rather they won it than you! Incidentally, just FYI, Coldplay should have won that one.

But the thing that has really made me realise how goddamn awful you are – and that makes me wonder why the hell anyone would think you were any good – is your new diet coke advert. Oh dear Duffy my little warbly welsh weirdo where to start?

First, the outfit. What is going on there? The styling department involved in that advert were obviously all high on crack. It’s hideous, bottom half smurf, top half hamburglar from mcDonalds. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Second your voice….AAAAAAARGGGH. I want to cut off my own ears and stuff them into the ears of the person sitting next to me to save us both from the torture of your nasally whine. “i’ve got to be me” you sing, well that’s good love cos no-one else would want to be looking and sounding the way you do.

Third: Riding your bike in the supermarket is DANGEROUS!! You know them grannies dont look where they are going with their trollies. You could hurt yourself! (hmmmm actually on second thought go ahead and carry on biking!)

Duffy you now have me begging for mercy, so please please please turn it in. Cos you are hurting my ears and offending my eyes.